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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813445">A Scene</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingatstars/pseuds/screamingatstars'>screamingatstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Crying, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Religious commentary, Suicide Attempt, Unfinished, Unsuccessful Suicide, can be used as a prompt thing if y’all want</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:16:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingatstars/pseuds/screamingatstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan is driving home one night and finds Patton on the edge of a bridge, about to jump. He gets him away, and finds out why he was there.</p><p>This was meant to be the starting scene/inciting incident of a chaptered fanfic that didn’t end up happening. I’m still really proud of what I did write, though, so I decided it’s spent long enough languishing in the depths of my Google Docs.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Logic | Logan Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Scene</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Several months ago, I planned out a whole fanfiction revolving around Patton’s suicidal thoughts that stem from his religion, his journey to getting better, and his changing relationship with Logan. I wrote this first scene mostly in one sitting, and then never figured out where to go from there. I had several pages of ideas, and outlines for character backstories, but the fic never got off the ground (partly due to me underestimating how trying to create a story of this nature would affect my mental well-being), and eventually I gave up.</p><p>I really liked how this scene turned out, though, so I finally decided to post it here. If anyone wants to use it as a basis for a story or something of the like, feel free to drop a comment and go for it.</p><p>CW: suicidal Patton (no actual suicide), implied depression or similar, all the things mentioned in the tags</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Logan Berry hadn’t planned to be driving over this particular bridge tonight. Doing so meant he was taking the longer route home from the high school where he taught, therefore wasting valuable time that could be spent grading papers or planning his week. But that night, he found himself turning on his blinker and taking the turn instead of continuing straight on, heading for the admittedly scenic bridge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no idea what motivated him to do so, or why he didn’t immediately turn around and correct his course. At best, this was an idle indulgence of some petty laziness, he chided himself as he approached the bridge. By all logic, this was a pointless venture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t find it nearly so pointless when he spotted the lone figure perched on the outermost railing, staring down the massive drop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reacted, slamming his brakes and pulling over to the side, finding just enough room between the road and the railing to fit his car. He hastily undid his seatbelt and stumbled out, running over to where the person sat, quite literally on the edge of death. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come back from there at once,” he ordered, already reaching out to grasp their arm. His voice was steady, but his heartrate was elevated far above what was normal. Whoever it was didn’t look at him, and in the darkness all he could tell about them was that they had short hair and glasses. “You are not in a clear state of mind. I’ll-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person turned to meet his eyes at the same time a car drove by them, briefly illuminating their face in its headlights. In that second, Logan was able to recognize the person he had just found ready to leap from the bridge as Patton Hart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan’s mind figuratively short-circuited. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Patton. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His childhood best friend Patton. His </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>friend Patton. Happy, content, silly, lighthearted Patton.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here he was, no trace of his usual beaming smile and laughing eyes. Gone were his trademark blue polo and soft gray cardigan around his shoulders. Instead, he wore plain, dark clothing, his eyes underscored by tired bags and filled with a heavy sorrow the likes of which Logan had never seen. It haunted him, long after the light had passed and left them in darkness once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When forcing his vocal cords to work proved impossible, Logan settled for tugging Patton- could it really be him? It didn’t feel real- down from the edge. The moment his friend’s feet touched the ground, a figurative weight was lifted from his shoulders. Patton didn’t say anything, didn’t struggle. He allowed Logan to lead him to his car, let him carefully secure the seatbelt across his body before getting in himself. Logan didn’t turn on the engine yet, opting instead to take a moment to look over his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton’s eyes were downcast, his shoulders hunched: he looked so small, so breakable. It was jarringly different from the way his sunny personality usually filled whatever space he was in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Logan told him, waiting to see what the reaction was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing. Patton didn’t move, didn’t say a word. Logan couldn’t even say for sure that he knew he had been spoken to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsure of what else to do, he turned the key and started the car. Then-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw Patton move out of the corner of his eye. When he turned to face him, he was met with the sight of his shoulders shaking, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks. But he did so completely silently; if Logan hadn’t noticed the motion, he wouldn’t have been able to tell he was crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton,” he tried, his hand hovering in the space between them, “I am going to get you help. You’re going to be okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No response. He wasn’t getting through. How did Patton usually do it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might not seem like it at present, but life is worth living,” he said, hoping the platitudes didn’t sound as awkward as they felt rolling off his tongue. “There are so many experiences yet to come, things will get better with time-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, they won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The verbal response caught him off guard. It took him an extra second to process what his friend had actually said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I’m afraid I don’t understand,” he said slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Things won’t get better. They can’t.” He said it so matter-of-factly; like he knew it for certain. “Not for me, at least.” The tone he used was frighteningly flat. Even through the tears, there was almost no feeling behind the words. Only resignation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton, whyever not?” Logan was baffled beyond belief. “Why shouldn’t things improve? Surely, whatever is going on in your life, you can make a change. Therapy would be an optimal first step.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton merely shook his head. “I’ve tried it. I’ve tried everything. Nothing can change what’s wrong with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what is that, exactly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The eyes that met Logan’s after he asked that question were filled with despair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gay, Logan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Puzzle pieces began to connect. He had known that Patton was a lifelong member of the LDS church, born and raised in Utah alongside five siblings. He also knew that it was a deeply conservative religion that denounced homosexuality as a sin, and any such behavior as one of the most serious sins of all. Patton had never once participated in any kind of romantic relationship, despite expressing many times over the course of his and Logan’s childhood a desire to acquire a wife one day and start a family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This revelation also explained why he had suddenly stopped saying that several years prior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Patton…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.” Patton wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Whatever you’re going to say, please… don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Logan.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Patton’s voice cracked. “Please, I don’t want to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If anyone’s curious about what I originally had planned for this thing, I’d be happy to answer any questions in the comments.<br/>Please be safe out there, and have a good day.</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843796">An Act</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatoneinsecurenerd/pseuds/thatoneinsecurenerd">thatoneinsecurenerd</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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